Many of you have
been wondering why there has been no updates or newsletters from Soul2Soul
since the February issue. Shortly after that issue was posted, the
man who inspired me to build this website, the man who convinced me
we shared a soul, and who I believed without a doubt was my twinflame,
a man who I loved and supported through 4 years of his recovery from
a love/sex addiction, the man who loved and supported me through 3
years of hell after my father's suicide, told me in a short, curt
email that he was marrying someone he'd recently met and wanted no
further contact.
Shock
is too mild a word, pain too inadequate a word for grief when it's
happening to you. For me it was not only an enormous feeling of betrayal
and abandonment, this man did not care to explain, apologize, or even
acknowledge what we meant to each other, but there was also a sense
of self-betrayal, a loss of trust in myself, in The Divine Source,
in humanity ... all because of one little electronically created note
from this man who meant so very much to me.
The last 6 months
have been a ride through all 5 stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining,
enormous depression and glimpses of loving acceptance. I wrestled with
what to do about Soul2Soul. Had these 4 years been an illusion? Had
the messages from Spirit been but a dream? Was I guilty of perpetrating
the delusions of countless others about this twin soul phenomena?
Had I only deceived myself? Needless to say, it was hard for me to
face this "love child" born of the relationship with this
man.
In my search
for answers and my search for healing I came face-to-face over and
over again with the "new age" or "universal law"
concept that we create our life with our own thoughts, that everything
that happens to us is manifested through our thoughts and beliefs.
There are many books out there with instructions on how to create
the life you desire, draw love and money to you through thought, prayer
and ritual. A wise and supposedly empowering concept, but I started
to see this as a major "blame the victim" cop-out. How did
my thoughts at the age of 1 or 2 manifest an abusive mother? Did my
thoughts kill my fiancé at the age of 19? Did my fearful thoughts
cause my father to kill himself? And then, if my thoughts were so
unshakable about the love of this man and our eternal union, then
just whose thoughts interfered with that?
Sure, we do create
how we PERCEIVE our lives with our thoughts, we can think a thing
is either a tragedy or an enormous lesson, we can think ourselves
victims of a cruel world or bodhisattvas sent to enlighten through
surviving much suffering. We can be heroes, victims or casual observers,
but we are the ones casting ourselves in those roles.
I do believe
that we plan most of our challenges before we take on this human form.
I did not "think" these hardships into being, but had planned
to take these on for further growth, for balancing karma, or maybe
just for the hell of it ... after all, it is all but a game.
I look back on
April of 2001 when I opened the "door" to Soul2Soul, I'm
not the same person as I was then, yet I am. I ask myself why did
I create this electronic meeting place? It was born of love, it started
when I was collecting articles on healing for my Beloved and realized
I wanted a place to help others learn, heal, grow and be supported
in that, and hopefully be inspired by the struggles I'd faced and
survived, little did I know when I started, that my struggles would
become even greater and my personal healing would be more of a challenge.
With world events, the tragedies of 9/11 and war, I know healing is
much needed for us all. That is why I'm continuing with Soul2Soul
and refocusing on the mission of healing, inspiration and enlightenment.
I now feel gratitude
for this man, the love he inspired created this beautiful, healing
"child" called Soul2Soul. Is he my twin soul? Only time
and eternity can tell, but I am reminded of a message from Spirit
a few years back, "Don't be afraid to be wrong." And I realized,
if we demanded solid evidence of our desired outcome in everything
in life, nothing would be attempted, no chances taken. Unconditional
love would not be learned here on earth. I like how Dr. Eric Pearl
put it, "the 3 most powerful words are, "I don't know."
" And really, who are we to believe we know better than the Divine
Source what is best for us?
It truly is life's
greatest challenge to come to a place of loving compassion for oneself,
to forgive and accept and know that you are a worthy, beautiful being
of love and light, embraced by the love of Divine Source always, all
ways. There truly are no mistakes, only choices, experiences and growth.
We all have and will experience "growing pains."
I thank you for
being here on the journey with me, for your love, light and support,
for your healing, for your wisdom, for your compassion.
In love and healing
light,
Now, for what's
new in Soul2Soul this month! In our new Crystals
section, Reiki master and holistic practitioner Nancy J. Walton
has blessed us with "The
Essence of Crystals," This is a great guide for choosing
the right crystals, their application for healing and how they correspond
to the chakras.
Clairvoyant reader,
healer, teacher and friend, Will Jordan shares a thought-provoking
essay on "Diversity,
Freedom and Past Lives," in his Will's
Words column.
I'm currently
reading a fascinating and entertaining book by Jean-Claude Koven
called "Going
Deeper." I was chilled to read that it is "written
for the 70 million Wanderers--highly evolved beings who have accepted
earthly incarnation to assist with the shift into the next paradigm.
None of them, however, anticipated the great difficulty of breaking
through the Veil of Illusion enshrouding this planet, and well over
90 percent of these Wanderers have yet to awaken." Geesh, and
I thought I was the only one that kept hitting that snooze alarm!
I've yet to finish
this novel, but I'm honored that Jean-Claude Koven is our featured
sponsor on Soul2Soul this month. If those opening words resonated
with you, you must get a copy of this book.
Our featured
"Do-Good" site this month is ChemoGear.com
a survival guide and place of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual
support for people facing chemotherapy.
As
always, please
join our growing Message
Board community to discuss Spirituality, Alternative Healing,
Psychic Development, Twin Souls/Soul mates and other metaphysical
and holistic topics. New forums have been added including discussions
on the Kabbalah, Higher-Self Channeling, Reincarnation and Walk-in
Experiences and a Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support
Forum.
Our
Healing Request page is always here for you to contribute
your healing energies and prayers, or to request a distance healing
for yourself or a loved one.
Looking
for a metaphysical, holistic or spiritual practitioner, service, store
or institution in your neighborhood? The Soul2Soul
Network is here to assist you! Just select a state from the
pull-down menu above to find resources in your area. If you are a
practitioner or have a product or service you'd like to list, it's
simple and inexpensive to join! Visit
Soul2Soul Network for details.
P.S.
If you've gotten this far.... click on the "Welcome to Soul2Soul"
headline up above for a little surprise.
This
website is dedicated to all who wish to wage healing, happiness and
peace on earth.
