Life
seems a little backward when it comes to wisdom and age. When we
get older and wiser, we aren’t as
physically strong to enjoy what we have learned as when we were
young. When we are young we don’t know any better. Many have
gone to churches, synagogues, retreat centers, monasteries, etc.
as seekers to find purpose. While others have taken sacred vows
to become nuns and monks to learn the secret. So what is the secret?
Divine genuine love is moving from the ego self, a form of selfish
love, more fully into the genuine divine self. It is the letting
go of the ego ruling your life, which when in command, looks outside
for what is already inside. The ego comes from separateness, a perspective
of limitation, a place that pushes, tries to control, force and
make things happen. The ego desires to get 
rather
than to give. This does not mean the ego is bad. It actually is
necessary to be able to live on this planet, as it is the ego’s
job to protect you.
Where
is your focus on your path as you live life? Is it based on ego
running your life or conscious choice? When you come from a divine
place of love, you turn within for love and give from a whole place.
And when you allow ego to run your life, you seek outside, come
from fear and take from a place of selfish love. As one chooses
to come from divine love, one will understand the importance of
balance and belief in self. Balance in the way one loves and cares
for oneself. The self entails how we care for the body, mind and
soul. Living fully in the physical body entails putting our attention
on positive focus and attitude so as to appreciate and enjoy life
more. It also entails developing our skills to expand our horizons.
The level of fulfillment, love and financial security commensurate
with the level we are at in our development of four specific areas.
The four
areas consist of, self-belief, positive focus, skill development
and positive attitudes. The development of our self-belief brings
us to a higher level of fulfillment. When we take time to nurture
our-self, we feel a greater love and self-respect. This helps us
to feel more secure and fulfilled. The more secure we feel, the
more we will enjoy living life. It is quite amazing when we lead
our life with self-belief, positive focus, skill development and
positive attitudes; we live a more fulfilled life. We feel self-directed
in our own style of leadership and those around us feel inspired
as well. We feel more alive in the activities we choose to get involved
in. We feel an inner joy and peace.
Feeling
more secure with one-self gives us the courage to take more risks
in life. We believe in our talents, abilities and skills choosing
to try new things and explore more. We feel a sense of freedom,
an out of a box mentality, where we enjoy developing more of our
skills and discover latent talents. The relationships we have with
others will also become healthier and more whole when we as individuals
become healthier and more whole. Healthier relationships will flourish
as you learn to come from genuine love, a true unconditional giving
of oneself and a readiness and openness to receiving. Having a healthy
relationship starts with you.
When
you walk the path of divine love, any unresolved issues will come
up stemming from family 
upbringing
and the environment you were brought up in. These unresolved issues
are shown through experiences you encounter and in your relationships.
If you have any unresolved childhood issues, they will be projected
in current situations and interactions with others. For instance,
if you were brought up in a conditional loving environment or even
an unloving environment, you may grow up with mistrust toward yourself
and others. You may have a hard time taking proper care of yourself,
since you blame yourself for the dysfunctional lifestyle you were
raised in. You could have a hard time trusting your decisions in
life fearing they will lead to disaster. You may end up relying
on and expecting others to make your life decisions and bring you
the joy, security, well being, etc. that you want in life. You may
have unrealistic expectations leaving you isolated from others,
feeling lonely and victimized by the outcomes. Then you may personalize
them, feeling it is your fault or else you blame the other person
and become angry and bitter.
This
pattern leads to a vicious cycle of desiring to be loved, while
simultaneously having a hard time opening up to it. You end up looking
outside to others for the things you desire within, such as love,
security, and joy. You may settle for relationships that require
major "fixing" due to low self-worth. The relationships
may be controlling through manipulation and lying. The relationships
may be ones where you are the caretaker and mediator of others'
problems. You may feel you are required to please others, discounting
and ignoring your own needs and desires. These relationships come
from low self-worth that result from not taking care of yourself
internally. There is a longing for love, and a feeling of loneliness
engulfs you. Rather than fulfill your own needs of emotional love,
joy, and security, you will look outside to others to try to meet
them.
Having
a healthy loving relationship requires you to learn how to turn
within for all your needs rather than looking outside for others
to meet them. You realize that there is nothing wrong with meeting
your needs emotionally and that is not being selfish. The more you
take care of yourself, the healthier your self-image becomes and
the more confident you feel about yourself.
Eventually
the longing you had for love will start to feel fulfilled and you
will feel more connected in relationship to yourself and others
rather than separate. Your desire to forgive and move forward will
bring on higher levels of peace inside. Your desire to want to understand
the gifts from your past experiences will help you open the parts
of the heart that isolated and shut you down. The anger and pain
experienced from the unjust, unfair and unloving behaviors will
diminish and be replaced with deeper levels of love.
When
you choose to look at these experiences from a focus on having a
peaceful outcome rather than from a victim mentality you are better
able to understand what is being shown. Taking responsibility by
looking at the gift behind the experiences and staying open to the
lessons will help you understand the steps to take for peace and
forgiveness. You will feel a deeper level of peace and start to
embrace fully from your heart as you move forward in your life.
As you
learn to express yourself in love, you go out into the world with
a desire to give rather than an 
expectation
to receive. As you give from your heart joyously and unconditionally,
you feel emotionally fulfilled and eventually receive back naturally.
Your relationships will become more fulfilling and loving as a reflection
of the loving within.
Choosing
to have a positive attitude provides the ability to appreciate the
things we have. We enjoy more of who we are as we strive for whatever
else we want. Having a positive attitude moves us away from the
half-empty glass or perfectionism where we are never satisfied.
I have seen people who, no matter what you give materially or from
your heart, are never happy. It is as if it is never good enough
for them. It is not surprising to see this because when I observe
how they treat themselves, I see the same behavior. They are constantly
beating themselves up, feeling they are not perfect or good enough.
They focus on what is wrong with them. Therefore, they are unhappy
because they don’t feel they are good enough. When you choose
to appreciate the little things in life, you start to look at the
beauty life has to offer. You are not as concerned with what others
think or feel about you when it comes to their projections of insecurity.
You have
this freedom from self-absorption and live a more balanced life.
Your perception of life is more one of beauty. Have you ever walked
into a room and seen a person who lights up the room with his or
her energy? This person demonstrates exuberance-aliveness. He or
she reflects an inner peace and joy, fully embracing and enjoying
the moment and the experience.
When
we believe in our self and choose positive attitudes, we have a
more positive focus on life. We put our attention on what we Do
choose to experience rather than Don’t. We come to understand
that whatever we put our attention on long enough in our focus,
thoughts and feelings, we create in our experiences and in the level
of success. It starts with how we feel about our-self. If we come
from feelings of self-belief, our thoughts and feelings will be
more positive. If we come from self-doubt, our thoughts and feelings
will be more non-positive. The greater our self-belief, the greater
our success, whether that success entails more financial security,
enhancing our talents and abilities or achieving a particular goal
in life. In addition, our receiving a continual increase in our
success requires that we trust the timing rather than trying to
force or control outcomes. Higher self-belief contributes to more
positive thinking and feeling. Higher self-belief makes it easier
to stay focused on what we choose to experience providing for healthier
relationships.
Angelica
Rose is a business owner, a national motivational speaker, trainer
and consultant assisting people in enhancing self-directed leadership,
communication skills and enhancing overall success since 1984. She
has done extensive research to find out what it takes to become
an effective leader. From Angelica’s experience and research,
she has come up with proven formulas for enhancing overall success.
Visit her website at: