A “Fearless” Occupation

November 6th, 2011

Just watched Jet Li’s final martial arts film “Fearless.” It really touched my heart and made me realize he has a message that is so very important in these turbulent days. In the film, loosely based on the life of martial arts master and Chinese hero Huo Yuanjia, there are no real “good” or “bad” guys… well, ok…there are, but the message was not about vengeance.

Everyone has the ability and freewill to be a total dick… let arrogance and power lead them to their own self destruction… there is also the choice to become a better person… to find redemption through restraint, compassion and peace. There is more power in the latter.

In the interview after the film, Jet Li, whose own life was changed after studying with a Tibetan Buddhist Monk and the Dalai Lama, basically says that you can beat someone up, but you cannot change their heart that way. Nonviolence and respect are more powerful.

This got me thinking about the Occupy movement and how there is a small faction of anarchists that still believe violence and intimidation will elicit attention, and the few who ‘demonize’ all the wealthy 1%ers. In their actions, they become the demons they fear and hate. All rich people are not evil, all poor people are not lazy. Let’s drop the labels, insults and name-calling.

John Lennon put it together simply and it’s still relevant today because it’s a universal truth:

“The thing is to protest but protest non-violently because violence begets violence. You know if you run around wild you get smacked that’s it. Its the law of the universe. they’ve got all the weapons and got all the money and they know how to fight violence because they’ve been doing it for thousands of years suppressing us. The only thing they don’t know about is nonviolence and humor.” – John Lennon

I know there’s plenty of anger, fear and judgment out there now… from all sides of the political circus and from all walks of life. I know there are “liberals” who spend a lot of time on conservative sites trolling and attacking, just as much as there are conservative trolls on liberal sites.  All this is doing is creating more hatred, fear and anger… the very poisonous mind-set that those in power would wish us to stay in so we can be controlled… hey, it worked for thousands of years! Now is the time to make the shift. It’s not “them against us” anymore, it’s the whole world awakening and realizing that we’ve been asleep in this matrix of fear and division that has benefited those who feed on fear, war, oil, fundamentalist religion, illness, addiction, weapons and despair.

As Albert Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Now is the time to stand in peace, love and unity with THE WHOLE WORLD while making our voices heard.

And yes, my anger has gotten to me too, I know I’ve been very unkind… and while I probably won’t change my habit of calling out certain people in the public eye for being total dicks… I will try to come from a place of love, compassion and truth, I hope you will join me.

Let’s all try to get along. The Revolution will only happen in peace and unity… that means all of us… even those intolerant, judgmental, hateful, science-hating, self-righteous asshats… it helps if you can see them as fearful and abused 3-year olds.

In peace, love & light,

Harusami

 

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Remember That Night You Saved My Life?

September 29th, 2011

Harusami & H.

When my mother passed-over in Japan in 2003, I needed the help of an old friend that I hadn’t seen in years. After helping me with some phone calls to Japan, I took her to dinner where we got caught up on the years that we’d been apart. I was hesitant to mention that I was doing psychic readings professionally… you never know how old friends will react to that bit of news… yeah, even when you’re psychic. :-D

Her eyes got wide and she stared at me intently. “You remember that night you saved my life?” I had to admit it had somehow got lost through time and troubles…thank goodness she never forgot, and re-gifted me with that memory.

I first met H. when we both worked together at the old Kyoto Restaurant in Denver back in the 70’s. Although she was quite a bit older than me, we became fast friends. H. was a native Japanese woman who was hip, stylish, beautiful and fun to be around. She had three young daughters and a handsome blue-eyed, curly-haired husband who reminded me of Marjoe Gortner, the child evangelist turned actor.

K. was a hypnotist and magician, he did some very interesting past-life regression sessions with me, and had this mind-blowing magic trick that he’d do at parties that totally freaked people out. He would take a piece of foil, perhaps the foil liner of a cigarette pack… he would lick it, roll it up in a ball, put it on your open hand and tell you to hold it as long as you could. Well, the foil would BURN! Most people could only hold it for a few seconds before the heat would become unbearable… you could even see smoke coming out of the ball of foil and a burn mark on your hand! People offered him thousands to teach them the trick, but he refused them all… and he’d mention a mysterious master who taught him this magic.  He was an odd man.

I knew H. was having problems with her husband and was planning on leaving him.  One night I called her… almost in a panic… I don’t know what was compelling me to call, but when no one answered the phone, I called the police… told them that I didn’t know why but they needed to check on her safety.  I was dating Wayne at the time, and he couldn’t understand my panic. I told him we had to get to H’s house and we needed to get there immediately. I will always appreciate his unquestioning belief in what we came to call my “woo woo” moments.

We got to the house before the police, no one answered the door, but I was guided to the basement window where I could see a light was on through the blinds. The cops finally got there and asked us to leave.  I told them they needed to get to the basement.

She called the next day to tell me that the cops got there just in time… her husband had her hog-tied in the basement with a gun to her head.

She was grateful and shocked that I had called the police that night, and I was grateful my dear friend was unharmed.  I believe her spirit called out, and I was able to receive that urgent message. She got a restraining order, a divorce, and a new life.

And years later, I gained a greater sense of gratitude for this gift.

 

 

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Guilty Until Proven Remorseful

September 23rd, 2011

Last night I, along with more than 35,000 watched the streaming video feed on Democracy Now of the vigil for Troy Davis. Slated to be executed by lethal injection at 7pm EST, the vigil was a heart-breaking  drama in real time. A last minute delay as the Supreme Court was asked to stop the execution was met with hope and great expectations… only to be crushed 3 hours later with the curt answer of  “DECLINED.”

It was horrifying knowing that this  man was going to murdered by the State of  Georgia for a crime he did not commit. The local Denver paper’s account of it described Troy Davis as  “defiant until the end,” he showed no remorse, he even asked God to bless those that were putting him to death. His last words:

“I’d like to address the MacPhail family. Let you know, despite the situation you are in, I’m not the one who personally killed your son, your father, your brother. I am innocent.The incident that happened that night is not my fault. I did not have a gun. All I can ask … is that you look deeper into this case so that you really can finally see the truth. I ask my family and friends to continue to fight this fight. For those about to take my life, God have mercy on your souls. And may God bless your souls.”

He was pronounced dead at 11:08pm.

Today another man in Georgia was granted clemency 3 hours before he was to be executed, his sentence was commuted to life in prison. This man, Samuel David Crowe, a white man, had plead guilty to a violent murder but it was said that he “experiences profound remorse.”

Many people are seeing this as a black vs white issue… Troy Davis was a black man.

Just weeks ago a trio of white men dubbed “The West Memphis Three” were finally released from prison after 18 years, one was on death row. There was no physical evidence linking them to the  crime they were found guilty of, the gruesome killing of three young boys. There had been a major documentary made and several news specials about these teenagers (now grown men) who because of their “gothic” look and love of the music of Metallica were immediately suspected as being Satanists for nothing more than looking “different.” There was physical evidence at the crime scene and other damaging evidence that linked one of the victims’ step-father to the crime scene.

In an agreement with prosecutors, Damien Echols and Jessie Misskelley,  and Jason Baldwin had to plead guilty to first-degree murder charges but will also be able to claim they are innocent, a bizarre legal maneuver called an Alford plea.

See the pattern here? Much like the Salem Witch trials of 1692, plead guilty and live, plead innocent and they will convict you and kill you.  Show remorse… whether guilty or not, and your life may be spared.  Have we not learned ANYTHING in over 300 years???

As a society we are saying “Tell us what we want to hear, the truth is meaningless.”

In 2003 I was unjustly arrested due to a 311 call… I hung up before it was answered, cops showed up and long story short, cuffed me, arrested me and pulled me out of my home in my pajamas in the middle of the night. The Thing that Happened.

I was told by cell mates that if I was smart, I’d plead guilty and be home within hours, if I plead not-guilty, I’d get f*cked with. They were right. Even my lawyer couldn’t prevent a body cavity strip search and 3 days in jail. I am still traumatized.

This is how our “justice”  system works, and it can happen to ANYONE. You are coerced into pleading guilty and saying you’re sorry… EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT GUILTY! Plead not-guilty and they will f*ck with you indeed… maybe even kill you.

Capital punishment is barbaric and cruel, and it collectively makes us all killers with blood on our hands. Death is not a punishment but a release to the next lesson, or a trip to Heaven, Valhalla, the Summerland or any number of afterlifes people believe in. Killing is a personal karmic choice… whether through war, self-defense, murder, revenge, suicide or termination of  pregnancy.  When our government kills a sentient being that is not an immediate threat to us, it’s no different than premeditated murder,  and we are all guilty.

It actually costs less to sentence someone to life in prison than to deal with years of court appeals that cost millions of dollars to put one person to death. And time and time again we find new evidence that clears someone on death row or serving a life sentence… how many innocent people have we killed?

Hearing Rick Perry’s GOP debate and the fundamentalist Christians breaking into loud applause when he bragged about how many people he’d executed in Texas was shocking, repulsive, and a major wake-call that we must not let these “witch hunting” lunatics run this  country anymore. 300 years is enough.

 

 

 

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War & Peace; Online Gallery in Memory of 9/11

September 11th, 2011

Hard to believe it’s been 10 years. I believe I curated the first art show commemorating the events of 9/11, back in November of 2011.  It was raw and immediate, artists pouring out their pain, grief and hope for healing. As I recall, the 1st place winner  featuring the fighting tigers was still wet.

Art in memory of 9/11

1st Place Award, Untitled by Marko Marino

I only wish I had better photography skills, but the online gallery still exists.

http://harusami.com/war_peace

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Grandma “Poop”

September 6th, 2011

This last weekend at the Celebrations Metaphysical Fair in Denver, I had one of the most extraordinary experiences, and I felt the need to share it. I’ve always said that I’m not the kind of psychic who can pick up a phone and dial someone you wish to chat with on the other side. It’s more like having a phone that only makes in-calls… and I’m always humbled and grateful when those dearly departed make their presence known and use me as a conduit to relay an important message to a loved one here on Earth. This weekend was mind-blowing… and I’m still chuckling about this very persistent Grandma.

The Fair started at 1:00 pm on Friday, and for once I was there quite early to set up. I was in a section to the rear of the Merchandise Mart, an area I was not as familiar with.  About 20 minutes before the start of the Fair I did my grounding/protection and meditations, while meditating, I “saw” in my psychic sense,  a very old woman, very bent-over… her body in a severe curve.  She had pure white hair and was wearing a bright turquoise or teal colored gown. I assumed she was someone’s Italian granny… she really wasn’t communicating at that time, just making her presence known.

Just before the Fair opened my friend/assistant/ex-husband Wayne was sitting across from me at my table.  I was suddenly assaulted with the unmistakable odor of human excrement. Wayne saw my eyes grow wide. “Do you smell that?” I asked. He looked at me puzzled. “Smell what?” “Poop!” I said… ok, I actually used another term for it… and immediately remembered that old phrase, “he who smelt it dealt it,” and told him it wasn’t me!

I noticed that the restroom wall was at my back and wondered if a toilet had backed up. I looked at my flip-flops to see if I may have stepped in something nasty. Wayne also discretely checked his shoes, but said he didn’t smell anything.  The smell then disappeared… or so I thought.

As I was doing my readings, I was horrified to notice the smell returning every time I shuffled my cards! I wondered if my clients could smell it too, but I saw no reactions.  Between readings I shuffled my cards and sure enough, a blast of warm poop-smelling wind would hit me in the face seemingly coming from the cards! Generally, foul odors can indicate the presence of dark or negative energies. I immediately brought my consciousness up from the fear and radiated love. I Reiki-ed my cards and the surrounding area… the smell still wafted intermittently… always when I shuffled.

I need to add here that I have a very weak gag reflex… foul odors often times make me puke, but for some reason, I didn’t have the urge to hurl.

I felt the need to ask several of the people I was reading for if they had this white-haired granny on the other side… one time asking about an “Italian grandma,” the granny then poked me and very testily said “NOT  ITALIAN” in a thick accent I couldn’t place. I sent her back to the “etheric waiting room,” at this point I did not connect her presence with the smell.

About 3 hours into the Fair a woman stopped by and was reading my poster, we struck up a conversation because she had an adopted Japanese/Korean daughter. She mentioned that her grandparents had fled the Spanish Holocaust. While she stood there, I was hit with the acrid scent of something like disinfectant or medicine… very pungent. And also the smell of poop came back. Ah ha! The old woman poked me again; I knew this was somehow connected.

So I asked L., the woman I was chatting with if she had an old white-haired grandma on the other side, bent-over and wearing a bright blue gown. She said that she actually had two grandmas of that description. I tried to get a name but the old lady wasn’t talking. I tried reasoning that the smell may be from livestock, asked if they kept animals… “Yes, in Spain.” It didn’t seem right. So, I swallowed my embarrassment and blurted it out.

“Ok, does the smell of poop mean anything to you?”

“YES” she said.

“And the smell of disinfectant or medicine?”

“YES” she said… her eyes growing wider, she pulled out a $20 bill and laid it on my table, sat down and said, “tell me more.”

I was so relieved! I was beginning to think I was going mad. I told her about the woman and the stench I’d been dealing with all afternoon. She explained that when she was 9-years old, her father was in Vietnam, her Grandmother was living with them and very ill. Her mother just couldn’t handle it, so this 9-year old girl was left with the task of changing her Grandmother’s diapers (this was long before disposables) and cleaning out her severe bed sores with a very pungent medicinal salve. She never forgot that smell…poop and medicine. She mentioned that she could smell it now too. Grandma usually wore a turquoise colored duster or robe.  Her Grandmother then gave me such a severe poke to the side that I visibly jumped. “Geesh! She sure likes to poke people!” L. confirmed that her Grandmother was a notorious poker, especially if you weren’t sitting up straight. Her siblings considered her a mean old woman, but L. loved her.

The Grandmother smiled, nodded her head and said “Thank you.” She wanted her to know how much she appreciated her devotion and care. As the Grandma said this, she became a vibrant young woman… she no longer had to keep that visage of old age and illness… and thankfully the foul odor immediately disappeared and never returned.

L. told me that no one had ever thanked her, not her mother or other family members. She grew up to be a nurse. She had been having dreams of her Grandmother, and was missing her lately… I’m sure it was her Grandmother trying to get her attention to give her this much needed message of thanks some 40+ years later.

I am amazed at the cleverness that this dear old soul used in getting her message delivered that day… how else could she do it without the smell of poop, medicine and several sharp pokes? She somehow drew her granddaughter to my booth… perhaps knowing that she would be interested in my half-Japanese heritage shared by her adopted daughter. Also, L. shares the same birth name as I.

I feel truly honored to have met this strong, courageous nurse and her feisty Grandmother. Thank you Divine Source for allowing me to be a conduit of your love & light.

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My Life as a Psychic

September 6th, 2011

Through the years I’ve had many incredible experiences,  from saving the life of a friend due to a desperate mental distress call,  delivering important messages to friends and strangers, and the many readings I’ve done since I was a small child.

I’ll be writing about some of my favorites here, hopefully to inspire and open your eyes and heart to the truth of our ONENESS, the eternal existence of our souls, and the love & light of Divine Source.

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An Open Letter to Metaphysical/New Age Authors, Teachers & Healers

July 28th, 2011

Can We Be Spiritually Political?

Jesus: A Bleeding Heart LiberalThis letter goes out with respect, honor and sincere gratitude to some of the most influential and inspiring leaders and teachers of what some would call the New Age Movement. A collection of spiritual paths that promotes unity, love, peace, empowerment, tolerance, respect, compassion, responsibility and freedom.

Most of us believe in the metaphysical world, personal connection to Divine Source and beings of light, reincarnation, cause & effect, energy fields and spiritual evolution. We honor nature, the earth, and our fellow sentient beings. We have no real “leaders” on this earth, only teachers and “reminders” that help awaken us on our spiritual path. We may or may not believe that Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, The Goddess, Shiva, Ganesha, Great Spirit, Zeus or any other Gods, Goddesses, gurus or avatars living or not, are our personal saviors or teachers, and we respect others beliefs knowing that there are many paths on our collective journey.

I have been noticing, as a “fan” of many authors, teachers, healers & leaders on Facebook and elsewhere online, that most have been avoiding any mention of our current political situation both in the USA and around the world. I have also noticed that the few brave souls who have alluded to any sort of political opinion or criticism are instantly attacked by a handful of their “fans” for mixing spirituality with politics. I believe as spiritual beings, we cannot ignore what is going on in our world politically, and now is the time to voice your opinion and beliefs. Maybe you’ll lose a few fans, sell a few less books… but in the long run, your true fans will back you for your honesty and courage.

The world is in a polarized state right now, the pendulum swings wildly between light and dark, liberal and conservative, rich and poor, unity and separation, fear and love. As much as we have learned about positive thought and manifesting for the good of all, that alone will not work without the focus and action of many souls.

I’ve seen enough youtube videos and web posting by Christian fundamentalists and conspiracy theorists attempting to demonize (yes, literally) New Age Spirituality or Unity-based spiritual beliefs. One such video that accuses New Age believers of a “Luciferian, anti-Christ agenda” can be seen here.

I will admit I could only stomach about 15 minutes of this blather, but otherwise intelligent, Christians are buying into this madness.

I also know from experience, that there are some in the metaphysical spiritual community who hide their intolerant political and social beliefs behind mantras of “unity, love & light” so they don’t lose paying customers. One such person showed their true colors when asked about his previous “anti-liberal” political status that was removed from his page when he became an energy healer. It’s shocking to realize that there are people in this world that believe liberals, or anyone that doesn’t believe as they do, should be killed… but the recent tragedy in Norway intensified that horror. And to think this healer’s major client base are people of liberal ideology… it just made me ill. It was his brother’s parting response to a friend of mine that chilled me to the bone, and made me realize it was time to speak out.
"I hope you enjoy the civil war that is coming... Goodbye liberal jerkoff!"

I was also a member of a local metaphysical/spiritual community until the organizer spoke out in favor of the Boy Scout’s banning of gay members. He tried to explain to me that homosexuality was against some “Universal Law.” Sorry, but the only “Universal Law” I know is “Love and do no harm.”

I have been a spiritual counselor, healer and writer since a major “awakening” in 1999. I had been trying to avoid politics until I found myself repeatedly being attacked for my political and spiritual beliefs since the 2008 elections. It was the Conservative, fundamentalist Christian Republicans and Tea Partiers who tried to shut me up, and repeatedly spit the epithet “Bleeding-Heart Liberal” at me. I have come to take it as a compliment and started a Facebook community of  “Bleeding-Heart Liberals” that within a few weeks has brought over 600 like-minded souls together. I also know that there are “Liberals” out there whose beliefs are just as intolerant and judgmental as those they oppose… but I’ve yet to see one threaten someone with death.

I ask that you, as a leader and source of inspiration to thousands, if not millions, answer this question; “What are your political beliefs?” I guess I’d specifically like to ask, “who will you most likely support in the next US Presidential election?”

I am not so naive as to believe any one political party is perfect, but for me the choice was easy. I also know that on a spiritual level, there is no wrong or right answer, only human experiences… the Divine Source doesn’t vote, only observes.

This is not a “Witch Hunt” (though I will be asking prominent people in the Wiccan & Pagan communities also ::grin::), but I hope a chance for honest dialog and understanding. Hopefully, we can all find a way to tolerance and respect. I’m also taking this opportunity to “come out of the closet” myself, declaring my political stance publically to my friends, customers, clients and readers. I know I may lose some, but I also believe in transparent honesty… after all, I wouldn’t want to find out after the fact, that a company or individual I had been supporting is funding a cause or party that I find diametrically opposed to my political, spiritual and moral beliefs.

That said, I also have a dear friend who identifies as a right-wing Republican. She always said “You need a left wing and a right wing to fly.”  I like that quote… but more and more, I’m seeing people who’d rather just shoot the bird.

Please feel free to answer with a comment on this blog, or your own fan page, website or blog.

In love, light and gratitude,
Harusami
“The Bleeding-Heart Liberal”
harusami.com

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Happy Father’s Day

June 19th, 2011

Me & my Daddy 1969

Jack Washizu (nee Pickrell) April 15, 1933 – May 10, 2001.
I thought he was the smartest man in the world, he was always reading history books. I remember him making buckwheat pancakes on Sunday mornings when I was little, and we listened to Hank Williams… senior of course. I was always so happy to be with my daddy… he spent too many years away… first in Vietnam, and then 3 years at the Pentagon when he’d only be able to come home for a couple of days each month.

He was born in a small town in Iowa, dirt poor. He faked his age to join the Navy at the age of 16 and never looked back. After years in the Navy as a cryptologist, and in the Air Force for 20 years (where he met my Japanese mom), he retired from his last post at the Pentagon. He got his college degree and went to work in accounting, eventually buying the plumbing supply company from his retiring boss. He was one of the first employers in Colorado to recognize Martin Luther King Day as a holiday…. much to the ridicule of other business owners.

His twinkling, mischievous eyes and corn ball sense of humor hid a deep depression. People loved him and his sense of humor… many never knowing the pain that he hid.

It was one of the hardest days of my life when he choose to leave this world, but it was a event that I’d known and feared would come since I was very small.

I love you daddy… I’m still working on forgiving part.

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Hapa Like Me

June 12th, 2011

I was recently profiled in Hapa Voice, a great website celebrating the diversity of people of part-Asian ethnicity. I am sharing that profile here.

Hi, I’m Harusami (nee Linda Reiko Pickrell). My Mother was Japanese and my Father was Scottish, Welsh, Irish (actually, he disowned the Irish when they killed Lord Mountbatten), with some Powhatan Indian.

I’m an older Hapa, born in 1960. Growing up, there were not a lot of us around, and very few Asian role models.

I’m so happy to see this Hapa “tribe” grow and become empowered with their uniqueness. Growing up, people couldn’t guess that I was half-Japanese, they would assume I was white, or if I was tanned, they would mistake me for Mexican or Native American.

Once the other kids found out I was half-Japanese, I would be teased and called names. I remember once coming home from school and asking my Dad what a “slope head” was. I remember how angry he got when I told him some kid called me one… I was really concerned there was something wrong with my head! Kids would tease me about eating raw fish… there were no sushi bars back then, so I feel quite empowered now, knowing that these same kids probably grew up to pay big bucks for raw fish.

Growing up in a predominantly black neighborhood and being bussed to a predominately white school, I saw bigotry of all kinds. Anyone who believes the 60′s were “the good old days” never walked in my shoes.

I was often beaten up for being different, I wasn’t black nor white, and there were very few fellow Asians. I even had a teacher tell me I was going to go to hell when she found out I was a Buddhist. Another teacher, upon hearing that I was half-Japanese and part Irish and Native American said, “That means you’re probably subservient and can’t hold your liquor.” Hah! I’d kick his a$$ and drink him under the table now.

Driving through the old neighborhood a few years ago… I was overjoyed to see children of all flavors playing together, white, black, brown, yellow, red, green… this was the hope and change I wanted to see.

I’m proud of my heritage and culture. My upbringing gave me a unique look at racism and intolerance that has made me an outspoken advocate for peace, compassion and unity.

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What Does it Take to Break a Person?

June 7th, 2011

Within the months of May & June I have had to deal with:

1. The return and refund of a $999.00 Water Ionizer simply because the buyer said her kinesiologist didn’t think it would benefit her. Yeah, her kinesiologist is probably selling her own brand of water ionizers. So, I’m stuck with machine that was used once, and I’ve been waiting for the replacement filter I ordered now for over a month, I can’t sell it without the filter, and I have to sell it as a demo now instead of “new.” Money out of my pocket so far… about $800.00.

*Ok, just add another $129.00 because my vendor didn’t honor his deal to credit the filter on the $110 credit he promised me on the 5-year warranty I personally bought for the machine when he failed to tell me his policy changed to 1-year warranties. I stand behind what I sell, if I say it’s a 5-year warranty, that what I give, even if it comes out of my own pocket.

2. A vendor who just realized he hadn’t billed my account for an order from last summer… $110 out of my PayPal account for an order I thought was long paid.

3. Another vendor of custom-made wands has simply disappeared, not answering my emails or phone calls. Had to refund about $200 in sales with profound apologies. I do hope she’s ok, but totally mystified.

4. My Soul2Soul Network subscriptions have been hit with THREE claims of unauthorized charges. People! This is a $24.00/year listing that can be canceled by the purchaser or it’s automatically re-billed through PayPal! Money out, $72.00 plus time in defending myself and filing reports. Hey, if you want to cancel and get a refund EMAIL ME! Otherwise the money is frozen by PayPal until they investigate your claim.

5. In helping a friend plan a local fund-raising event for the Japan Earthquake/Tsunami victims, I went ahead and purchased $350 worth of T-shirts, thinking more money could be sent to the cause and also to raise funds for the Fans for Japan auction since Zazzle only pays out 10%. The friend bailed on the fund-raiser. The sales so far of the T-shirts? One. Also, I ordered $100 worth of fans… I don’t have the money to ship them to the celebrities and artists now.

6. I’ve just experienced the worst 2 weeks of sales ever, sales, contests, free shipping, ads… nothing mattered. And I realize I cannot compete with the big box stores who are now selling similar items at cost or less. Just read an article about how Amazon.com was selling Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” downloads for $.99 and eating the $8.99 they were actually charged… WTF? Not that I sell Lady Gaga CDs, but many of my books & CD are being sold on Amazon for a loss. Who can compete with that?

7. In total “desperation mode” I decided to commit to a $108/month featured link on Elephant Journal’s site. 3 weeks later, no ad, no response to my emails, so I filed a PayPal claim to get my $108 back and cancel my subscription. Still out the $108 and no response.

8. While all this was whirling about and I was struggling to find the money to pay bills, my overdue property tax, retail tax and occupational privilege tax (what a joke), and a vendor’s $730 bill that was due. The vendor pulled the $730 from my PayPal account today…half of which will be transferred to a credit card. I really don’t blame him. I had hoped to work out a deal or to try to cash out my small and still dwindling 401K from my former employer.  I have zero money. The small inheritance I had to start this business 6 years ago is gone. I’m at wits end. I have some equity in the home I love and have lived in since 1991, and good credit. I don’t know how long I can keep that standing.

9. Had a long time client cancel the hosting of their custom-made web site to move it to a free google site. They want me to figure out how they can retain the high search engine rating that they have enjoyed for the past 10 years while trading in their Jaguar for a Kia. I don’t even want to deal with that. Yes, you can get a google site for free, but you have to use their lame, generic templates, ok?

I never wanted to end up like my dad. When his plumbing supply business struggled after the closure of Lowry AFB and several of his other major government accounts, he never told anyone just how bad things had become. He was too proud. He kept his loyal workers on staff even when they were incompetent (a warehouse driver lost his license to drive!). I realized he just wanted to be loved. No one had any idea of how bad things were until he blew his brains out one early May morning in 2001 in front of his office building. The business was insolvent. I struggled to find the funds to pay his staff and had to auction off what remained of his business, my mother lost her home and had to move back to Japan. Words cannot express the ordeal of those 2 years as I struggled to settle with my father’s creditors, sell the house and all that was in it. I realize I’m my father’s daughter…

I’ve been too proud to express how dire things have been. I’ve believed that if I did what I loved, gave of myself in service, worked hard and ethically, and put my trust in the Universe, all would be taken cared of. In these past 10 years since Soul2Soul’s original creation, I’ve seen so many heart-centered people with great ideas and products fold up and declare bankruptcy… some moving back in with their parents or kids after staking their life-savings on a dream and a prayer. I have no parents or kids to help me out. I also know that there are dark forces that are working to extinguish the light in what ever way they can… even disguised as lightworkers.

So, I’m asking for help. If you can spread the word about the store, or my web design and graphics skills, I would be most grateful. If you know anyone who wants to buy a limited edition #92/300 1988 John Lennon “Real Love”

John Lennon's Real Love lithograph signed by Yoko Ono

John Lennon's Real Love lithograph signed by Yoko Ono

lithograph please contact me. Although it’s one of my most prized possessions, it’s only “stuff” in the end. It is valued at $6000 now on the market, I’m willing to sell for $5500 +shipping to a good home. I have learned how to create facebook fan welcome pages in the iframe mode. It’s like having a mini web site on your fan page (520 pix x 800 pix maximum size) to advertise your website, products or service. I’m offering my services to the first 5 people to sign up for a custom designed page for only $199.00. It can be hosted on your own servers or on mine.

Also, as most of you know, I am a psychic reader… yeah, insert jokes about me not seeing this coming…. LOL! But as most of those who are gifted, we do much better in helping others than ourselves. I have helped people since the age of 10 in matters that I sometimes didn’t even understand. In my readings I become a conduit of Divine Source and get out of the way. Myself and the other gifted readers at Soul2Soul are perhaps the only ones that offer a  24 hour satisfaction guarantee. If you feel your reader has not connected to you in a valid way, you are offered a refund or second reading by another reader.

So, I’m here, being transparently honest in my challenges, hoping for a hand up, not a hand out. I know money is tight for everyone, I don’t think I know of a friend who isn’t struggling now… and I know too many people who have been out of work so long that they have fallen out of the national “unemployed” statistics to matter anymore.

Our nation is catering only to the big corporations with huge tax breaks as they create jobs in third world nations while laying off American workers. This affects all of us. The government is laying off workers and closing down schools, libraries… even national parks! Leading to more unemployed people. When will this madness end? I totally believe that we must change from a society based on money to a society based on resources… in the end, we cannot eat money. But for now, the power company, phone company, water company, mortgage company and the government only want hard cash… something that I have totally run out of.

If you can’t help in a material way, please send me a prayer.

In love, gratitude & light,
Haru

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